Choosing your Battles

I  guess you could say I have always had a fighting spirit. I don’t mean that I like to fight literally but that even with the most difficult of situations I tend to have a good cry, talk to friends then put on my big girl panties and try to handle the situation head on.

i have had many worthy opponents throughout my lifetime but my most formidable opponents have definitely been ring 22 syndrome and autism.  The two of them entered the ring seventeen years ago and have been sucker punching me ever since.

Initially I hit them with my best shot, gloves off, no holds barred.  As the years passed I knew when and what I needed to fight for, when to call things a draw, and when it was a TKO!

Today Zach woke up seemingly happy and we headed over to his day camp.  A trip to the new aquarium was on the docket today and I was curious to see how he would like it.   About an hour after he got to camp I received a message that he was struggling with his mood and kept trying to get his backpack (or anyone else’s backpack) and wanted to go.

The staff at the camp are amazing and we have a great relationship.  They were not asking me to pick him up, but rather looking for suggestions.  I hemmed and I hawed…Selfishly I really wanted the time off for myself, But what  I really wanted was for him to be able to go to camp…a special need’s camp and participate successfully.

For an instant i wanted to go down that rabbit hole, I wanted to cry and be angry, I questioned why my sweet boy struggled even at a camp for individuals with differing abilities.  But then I stopped myself!   We all have bad days, days that don’t go as planned and who was it for me to force him to do something that he wasn’t into.  The camp is for fun and social engagement and if he wasn’t having fun then what was the point.  It also wasn’t about me having free time I could leave him there and they would do their very best to help him have a good day but if he didn’t he would be upset and crabby for the remainder of the day and evening.

Today I chose my battle wisely, I threw up the white flag and surrendered.  It was what was right.  He came home and was much happier to be here chilling with a video.

Sometimes you must choose your battles. There are times to fight and there are times to know when it is ok to walk away from the ring with your head held high.


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