If you are a child of the 80’s you will remember the Pantene commercial featuring the beautiful model with her mega hair and the tag line “Don’t hate me because I am beautiful.”
I haven’t blogged much recently. I have been leery of people feeling as if they could not relate to me any longer, of people feeling that I have nothing in common with them any longer and of people feeling like I did when I saw that commercial; “What a hypocrite”
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying the sleep, the time with my husband, the ability to run to the grocery store on a moment’s notice, having control of what television shows I watch and many other simple pleasures. It sounds awesome doesn’t it? BUT The evolution from full-time parent and caregiver to “empty nester” is not as glamorous as it may seem. It is a path wrought with doubt, worry, and a lot of time for introspective thoughts.
- That whole saying about “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone” is pretty accurate. Although my life as a mom and caregiver was exhausting, I miss having my kids here. When they are not feeling well or are sad I want them curled up in my bed watching TV while I bring them chicken soup and ginger ale. I miss seeing my girl on the couch watching episodes of The Food Network and the look on my boy’s face when something tickles his fancy. I thought I couldn’t wait for peace and quiet now I long for the sound of a full house.
- I made a lot of excuses….”I don’t have time to exercise,” “I don’t have time to cook,” “I don’t have time to dedicate to my relationships.” So far I have all the time in the world and I still don’t always make those (and other items) a priority.
- I put off happiness. “When I lose weight I will be happy,” “When I have enough money I will be happy,” “When I have more time I will be happy.” Another quote rings true “If you are not happy in the here and now, you never will be”
- I blamed Autism and Ring 22 syndrome for a lot of things….they can no longer be my scapegoat. #noexcuses
- Being an empty nester can be lonely. Having a husband who travels frequently equals a lot of alone time. I am still learning to be Ok just being by myself.
- Reinventing yourself is not easy. After children I was like jello poured into a mold. Now that my role has been redefined, I don’t want to just sit “wiggling on the plate”
I am not complaining nor do I have regrets, I just wanted you to know why I have been quiet in regards to writing. I am a work in progress, I am on a path of discovery. What direction do I head into as a mother, wife, friend, individual and writer? What does life have in store for me?